The Undomestic Goddess...

so inspite of too much things to do now, i still had the time to read novel by sophie kinselle, the undomestic goddess. It got such an interesting ending that me, myself end up with giddiness inside me...:)
hahaha, its shows too different type of personality when encountering workloads of situations.
and you believe in fairy tale, then the ending is good.
but for me, fairy tale is hard to believe. so maybe if i were in her shoes, i will questions whether or not my relationship with nathanelle will work out or not.
but thats just me.

the review: http://www.curledup.com/undomest.htm

Dysfunctional Family..

Came across this site while googling...

http://www.mudrashram.com/dysfunctionalfamily2.html

Love Story

This is my current love song. I love this song. Not just the lyric, but the tune.
It felt so lively and uplifting.
if i were to dream, it will be this song as the back ground song and me and my Romeo are dancing on a field of grass happily...and lovingly..:))
but is't just a dream though...

"We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.
See you make your way through the crowd
and say hello;

Little did I know
That you were Romeo; you were throwing pebbles,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."
And I was crying on the staircase,
begging you, 'Please, don't go.'"

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet,"
But you were everything to me; I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'"

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Romeo save me - they're tryin' to tell me how to feel;
This love is difficult, but it's so real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story - baby just say "Yes.'"

Oh.

I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town,

And I said,
"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think-"

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet - you'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad - go pick out a white dress;
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"

Oh, oh.

We were both young when I first saw you..."

Sisters day Out,,,

we had a sister day out yesterday...very nice and so nice..
first,early in morning, we went for relaxing moment...along go for spa reflexology and kakak and i went for full body massages....ohhhhh....very nice. in wellness sanctuary in taipan.
then we picked up bilah in UM, head for cineleisure for Twilight.
but before that, we had our lunch at Bubba Gum..errr..sekali je nak gi sini...mahal dowh food dier..i mean, if im working, maybe gi sini kot...still belajar lagi..its LUXURY food lah for me...this is what i had..
then, we watched Twilight..best..but poyo..entahlah, there is something with the love story, but i dont know how to explain it.
then we are ice cream at a japanese desert and ice cream cafe a floor below under the cinema. it was sedap....(ni lost of vocab)...hehee
balik aje, we send nabilah, singgah beli DVd in 14...and settle at home.
after maghrib, we watched Sisterhood of Travelling Pants 2...:)

at nite, we crached our parents bed and sleep there while watching The House Of Bunny.
overall, it is so sisterly in Love..:)

today..just teman my sisters beli basikal and repair basikal, in bicycle shops inputra heights...
and maybe we had late lunch, early dinner late today.

finally...

in pancaindera today; hiburan 21, "Resensi Filem"..it has summarizes enuf on Selamat Pagi Cinta...and i am so agreed with him on his opinions and views...
so read on and watch it.

this weekkk

i have a busy day this week..so far..
monday: with my grandmother in hukm
tuesday: being a FOC but supported baby sitter in OU...watching madagascar:)
wednesday: so touring putrajay...went to wetland and taman air...but unfortunately..the boats..all of it, sent for repair. so we naik the menara andget very excited...owh, im with kakak,aiman and zana..heheh..afterwards,we went to alamanda to watch " good morning love"...owh, malay movie..still need upgrades..penatlah...any one yang nak honest opinion on that "good morning love"..ask me!!kk..:)
thursday : get my first trial for facial in Jaya 33. the facial was good..:)...and then pick up zana at taman jaya lrt station and celebrate her bday...in pyramid..well, in fact it was more in hiagen diaz..we had fondue and celebrate the bday..
it was joyful and fun..and
friday: resting day at home...finally...:)

Love Story..

I just finished reading, Message in A Bottle, by Nicholas Sparks. And it was great. i mean, hmmm..honestly, it was great, except it didn't give me the usual emotional emotions as usual, when i read the story.
What can i conclude from the great love story are:
1) the man and woman, usually end up not being together for some fate or life circumstances happened.
2) either it took a short period of time, or long period of time, the great love will not end up perish.
3) that the hurt will stay on there, lingering, and it will take more than a short period of time, to move on and get ahead of life and feel love again.
4) that when the next 'right' person come in line, the feeling can wash aside the latter emotions and that is what matter.
5) that it is hard to fall in love with anyone without the 'it'.

this are all from the great love story..
except this keep on bothering me..

1) if the great love story did not took place till forever, then when we end up marrying someone, how to stay afloat in that emotions if that's not the great love (between human i mean)?

if anyone, have any answer or have felt it, do share please...
and

this kind of love is hurt.

supposed...

i supposed to
1) read my journals
2) start work on my literature review
3) sort all my research paper
4) start getting my life back on track...its almost a year..

Parentsssss........................

parents?..what i can i say?...
1.for those who had a better childhood, they will get spoiled and will be irresponsible to their family later on;and for those who had a bitter childhood, they will ensure their family, their kids, gets what their lacked on, and the cycle will repeated all over again.
2. but parents who had been spoiled and treat their kids bad, they wont realized it ever, coz for them, they have given the best and blame their kids later on, and stay regret when they realized whats happening to their spoilt child..and for parents that had bitter childhood and treat their kids good, they realized what is going on with their kids, and for this type of parents, they will never felt what they have done are good enough, for they never had it when they were young..and they will always give.

and the cycle will keep on repeating all over again.

Merdeka!!!

Dah habis viva, in like 10 mins ago..and very2 happpy and now kena concentrate research but mals nak think lagi, so nak enjoy!!
and balik rumah and gi sunway lagoon and g tgk cerite banyak2..bestnyer..
nak listen to ABBA!!
hahahah

I want to study...!!

i am so lacked in studying, i was spending my time throwing of ideas, expressing opinions...and thats all.
on life, on friendship..
just to make someone think.
and thinking is tiring, but thinking is what make life matters in the end, coz we end up learning something in the end.
i have so many queries, plans, missions, questions i need some answers too..and maybe just an understanding.
and insyaAllah, i will in the mean time.

btw, i really want to meet Tun Dr. Mahathir...
anyone who have any ideas how, tell me k:)
take care..
and i want to study!!:)

Friend..friends?

This quote," Berkawan biar seribu, berkasih biar satu"...

i know many people that believe in this, and i might say i once too. But when i think on it...
1. You can have all the friends in the world, it will make our world less lonely and things in our life more colorful, i admitted..but that will stop until that.
2. a quote also "we have none other than 10 true friends in life, and to find one is difficult"..
3. what i want to say is, we need our support system, someone that will hold us, and be there for us..it will be really hard to fully understand the situation, but what can be done, is just be there for each other.
and the kekasih in those quote, may be it meant, when we do get have a lover, getting married, that someone will be the support system. but what if something happen in the end of the road?
just embrace yourself...and learn from the mistake.
Do we need just a friend that will be by our side, through thick and thin, or friends that will make our life wonderful, but when we in need,we just need and go that understanding person, to enlighten our life perspectives.
so people, find that particular friend, and keep it for life.
There will be more catastrophic events that will come later on, and we need that particular person.
we just need the support system....
:)..Allah (God) is important, but that what friend made for rite?

Us Against The World

[Nicky:]
Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world
Against the world

[Shane:]
You and I, we’ve been at it so long
I still got the strongest fire
You and I, we still know how to talk
Know how to walk that wire

[Mark:]
Sometimes I feel like The world is against me
The sound of your voice, baby
That's what saves me
When we're together I feel so invincible

[Shane:]
Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight

[Nicky:]
Us against the world
Against the world

[Mark:]
There’ll be days
We’ll be on different sides but
That doesn’t last too long
We find ways to get it on track
And know how to turn back on

[Shane:]
Sometimes I feel
I can’t keep it together
Then you hold me close
And you make it better
When I’m with you
I can feel so unbreakable

[Mark:]
Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight

We’re not gonna break
Cause we both still believe
We know what we’ve got
And we’ve got what we need alright
We’re doing something right...

[Shane & Mark:]
Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight

Us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Us against the world
Yeah it’s Us against the world, baby
Us against the world
Tonight

[Nicky:]
Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world

A food for thought...

I had a conversation with a friend of mine; and he told me this..
"A man that supposed to be lead by his brain (mind),
A woman supposed to lead by her emotions,
but..
when a man was lead by his emotions, thats mean either he anak manja or x rase susah in life til he did not grow up..
and when a women was lead by her mind, thats mean she had many experiences and kesusahan in life that make her be that way."

So, where i am?...
I am lead by both. I am rational, and sensible..but i am emotional lead also.
I am not totally menjadi lelaki, or hati amat keras, coz sometimes my emotions took over and i am a woman at that moment.

Just in balance, is what i am.
Nway, this blog may be on hold for a while, til my exam is over.

The Challenge: Mahathir Mohammad

I just finished read this book, today. After, i borrowed it for nearly a semester, finally its over. And i was very impressed with the way our previous PM thoughts on many aspects and how he laid all the causes, effects, consequences while take consideration on many aspects. It was a good book, and now i will get started to read 'Malay Dilemma' after my final exam eventually.
Nway, just to share this, I quoted from that book, on the chapter, Corruption;
"If a student gets a scholarship on the promise that he will study, but uses the opportunity for other purposes, this is also corruption. (149: Mahathir)."..
and how about that. This makes me think a lot. I mean, we see corruption as bribes or whatever you want to name it, but actually, we have been practicing it our selves.
I mean, if as a student gets a scholarship, but used the money to get married or to support him/her in getting married..is that corruption?..or will they justify that when they get married, they can study?...
reading this chapter is an eye opener...i wont say much on this topic, but eventually, what can i say is, everyone is doing it, without they realizing it and sometimes, we think that maybe what we are doing is for a better cause, then it is okay..therefore, one thing to be reminded each and everyday in life..
there is no good and bad in life and in person.
there is just it.
and when i finished reading it, i wonder..if i can spend a day with Tun Dr. Mahathir and listen to him, not when he talks on UMNO politics, but more in Malaysia, Malays, and life..
His opinion what i want to understand most and i to see his persepctives is what i desired also.

today...

i found that good guys are still exist...oh, what i mean was, mr. clean (s):)...and i found out that, yes..pray (sembahyang) is the best shield ever...admit by certain org juga..and i found out that..yes, "open up your plan, and then your free" (iM yOURS:Jason Marz)..so now, have to open up...alot:)
so now, my faith is up, i have something to believe in and i know, life is full of surprise and also...
some people, have this kekuatan that make you strong...and know when to stop, even the emotions are riding high.

Mingle, Socialising....loser and winner?

Today, my social calender, went up..i urm, not used to it. so i miss my books more and reading more. Its been days since i read. i MISS that.
What i can deduced from that, is...mingle and socializing is great..and both tiring, but it can open up the mind, sharpen the perspectives and (only when they know how to utilize it)...make connection (this is common)...but somehow, we tend to make mistakes when we speak..and those are nt great..and eating too much also, not great..coz socializing = eating rite?..:)
nway, i have be such a loser, called by a good friend of mine..yesterday. I went to MV alone, eat lunch alone..well, thats not a loser act..coz i think its alrite..plus, i can observe people..and just observe them..and i bought thing based on my judgment alone, well..turns out..it is good..says few person..so i know now..that i can trust my judgment...:)
nway, it becomes a loser, coz..i watch movie alone also..(well, before this, its ok..i mean, the seat was away from no one, so i am watching it alone..)..but this time, both seats next to me was occupied...on my left side, was group of boys chilling together...and on my right side, a couple spending time together..and i am stuck in between those two boys...
hahaha..you are rite at the end of the day izuan, I AM A LOSER!!..
:)..but am i?
is spending time alone, make me a loser?
u think?

what i learn today...

I went to UM medical library today, to find journals for my research paper...and well, i am VERY IMPRESSED with it..so many journals, like so many. and if i had all the time in world, good chair, and not so bored, i will read all those, but seems i had today to find what i want, and yes..it is not easy.
even with all the journals, and flipping it one by one, it is really hard to find just exactly what i want. i have to extract it bit by bit and then, read and make a good conclusion on it.
and then it just hit me, finding the prefect literature for my research is like finding the perfect guy for me...hahah..
i am surrounded with 'world' of guys..(the so many journals in the library)...and flipping each of it...just like i became friends with them, check on them...and getting what i want is the hardest thing, coz there is none like i want. I have to extract them, and make a conclusion based on what i want.
with guys, human..how can i make them?.i just can evaluate them, thinking what suites me well, then..hmm...
but i can extract his characteristics and mine, and ensure my child/s will get them...in end, it be just like what i wanted.
Just a thought to me...a wise one..it is human,it can never be made. coz in the end, there is one thing called, heart; where all the actions, thoughts, coming from it.

Everything is with return...

There is none, or hardly any..thing that is ikhlas nowadays, except with return in the end.

Kingdom of stress vs. kingdom of boredom...

This is the final week in this sem before the revision week (next week) and examination week (week after that)...in most public university.
so, there has been two situation. one, the students that get too stressed finishing off the assignments, the presentations, the works, and tests..and they hope for the revision week for the time they want to relax before study again.
and well, there is another group, the one in the boredom..which is me:)...(but the fact that this post should be posted early this week), make me already busy now. i am occupied with the research project, that my mind took longer time to process things. this is really make me headache. Everyday, there is to do list that i could not cancel, things to read on, concentrate on..and think on..devise is another aspect also.
so, practically, now my holiday is over and i have to start doing my research seriously and race against time. coz ideas strike in and limited time already to do everything.
so, in the end, i will be busy, but i will always jump in to give opinions on things.
take care people.

What Is Lacking....

Sometimes in this semester; for the past couple of months...i had a need, a thing that is lacked in my mouth (life)..and i have been in hunt searching for that.

I want something to eat, food specifically that make me, when i taste it...feel good. So good and..its just not a stomach food, but also food for the soul and heart.

I have eaten mostly, all food that i can think off, that have been the one i indulge when i am 'down'; but seems now, those food brings no effect to me.

so what is the kind of food that can make me 'whole'?..anyone who have any ideas, please tell me.

and i also have this one bad habit lately...i criticize on food. well, sometimes out loud, sometimes just a food for thought. I used to be the one bot criticizing food, but now i am..wonder why.

have to live with that i guess.

guess, before i hit 23, i realized what is happening with me, what is wrong with me, how to improve and how i have changed.

Before i hit 23, i am being someone else, and somehow, maybe...
those that had happened before, happen for a reason.

And maybe this is it.

seems that...

When i read back, few things that i have posted earlier on in life, seems i have grown matured..way matured in most of the entries..
in adult-ship life; i mean...we then to be reserved...in most things on what's going on in our life..
we tend to think, in every such ways to ensure we are not making any mistakes in life and end up not communicating.
That is why, i think..the best way..the best thing...
is talking..communicate..
it is hassle free, and easy...
but need more understanding between each other only.

Kacau Rendang,,,,

This raya, was the first raya that i have spend celebrating in kg rather than in kl..coz my dad went for umrah...anyway, i helped my nenek doing the must have delicacies for the raya..i perah santan for rendang and kacau the rendang ayam.and my nenek actually taught me how to do the rendang ayam with few tips..guess, i must be lucky to be taught the recipes and well, selagi dier hidup, i will try and get all her knowledge so i do have the little things that make my life more meaningful later on..
and these are few of the pics...its not a posing pic, even though i end up like one..hahah..enjoy.

Once Upon A Time..

This is the scenery in front of my grandparents house in Rembau. That rock..the big rock..well, there is a story behind it.
When i was young, and very little, traveling to kg was the think that i look forward too. The one and half hour journey, seems so far and full of stops by us, bt now..the hour and half journey..seems so sekejap and breezy and just a drive in the highway..
nway, when i was young, whenever i am back in kg, that rock seems so huge and humongous to me. I always want to go there, to be on top of that rock. To stand and just feel on top of something big. Sometimes, my boy cousins and I will play masak2 there, by collecting leaves and grass, and mashed it with batu2...and ranting..at the holes we see around the rock....
and as usually, my dad will called us in, worried and marah me..and my sisters. He will said, it is dangerous, and i dont know what else.
bUT NOW..that rock seems so small and recently, i wonder, what makes me adore the rock last time..
i guess, im getting older, and the perspectives are all different...
and maybe, just maybe, if i am married and had kids when my grandparents are still alive, i will show them this rock..the place where i spent my younger days on..abd maybe, just maybe..my kids..will end up behaving just like me..and grow interest into the same rock also..
after all, kids end up behaving and acting the same way as what their parents once before, right?....

Back at home...

I am back at home..after 3 days in kg in Rembau..yurp, yurp..its KJ constitution as well...:)..and i just met my dad. He went for Umrah this raya and i just gt the chance to meet him, 3 hours ago..but, something was not rite, somehow i feel it.
Maybe he just tired. I dont know.
Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya to anyone that read my blog.

World Spins Madly On...

"World Spins Madly On"

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.

Parents = guilt, kids = spoilt....

This morning, when i wake up, suddenly this crossed my mind. In school nowadays, parents just wont accept that their kids are 'evil' or even naughty; for them, it is norm for a kids to behave that way. That is why, the blame was all on the teachers.
The parents felt that their parents did not 'loved' them enough when they had their times in school last time, so they wanted to be the best parents ever, so they just support their kids and end up blaming, suing, hurting the teachers more.
Well, the kids, since the parents end up listening to them, what can they asked more, except...being spoil..duh...so even they are the one to be blame on, for them, they have the support and immunity behind them..the PARENTS.
so being parents is very hard. Basically and realistically, they are the who shaped the future generation. If the didikan was good, then insyaAllah, things will be good also. But if it is not, then, Wallahualam..
So marriage now for me, will not be a love between two..but more to how to build a family and perfecting the flaws and accepting things...

Evening...and late this evening....

I know i should be putting more pics, but unfortunately, no one wants too, or even bother to take 'em, or i end up forgotten all about it,til i am back home and settle....huhu
so, i went and berbuka with haniza and my sister. as always when picking up kakak i went and see her..
so just now, i went to her office, and she introduced me to her colleagues..and one of that, is my primary school buddy..which i have forgotten her name, and she still remembers mine..and she was like, so...dont let haniza tell me whats her name..and my brain was like working 100 times faster retrieving memories of 12 years ago...haha...and i remember her name at last, its siti raudhah...hehe:)
and guess what she told; she said, you still pakai tudung senget ek..hahah..so i was like, waaaaa..i pakai tudung mmg senget ke sejak dulu?hahah..and i mmg x reti pakai tudung kot, even i have pakai tudung like so long long ago...heheh
so thats one..
and then, we went to alamanda...and end up ramai sgt2 orgnyer, so beli roti boy and air di carrefour..and sembhyang dulu..
dah namenyer perempuan, and haniza yang baru dpt gaji..we end up window shopping..looking for handbag before makan, which is like 8 something already...hahah...and we went to food court, ade waiter ni tgh kemas meja, terlepas gelas..pecah kat my feet..and kaki masuk kaca..luckily just tiny piece and boleh dikuarkan even tho darah sikit...:)..
but we end up makan situ lah..
oh yer..kat food court jumpa old uia mates..and i was recalling so hard..finally its sufiah...or sopeah..but i know its peah..haha..kan dah kate..lupe nyer..and i was like,..niza, tolong i..i lupe name dier sape..haniza blur2..coz die mmg x kenal langsung..dah berpisah with her..she was gelak2..ckp..mmg dier x kenal pun, how nak tolong i ingat sape tuh
hehehe...so we makan, and after makan.i beli kasut..blur2 gak pasak kasut nie..nak pakai sandal yang lawa..but xnak high heels, sakit 20+ aje..so if x suke and xnak pakai..x kisah sgt..lupe gak nak amik gmbar.and sandal pun kat luar..
so warp up..i balik dr alamanda at 9.30..fuh..long day..
oh yer..time nak berpisah ngan niza..i hug her tightly..god, i miss her so much..and i miss her much now..especially since she wants to go abroad again..leaving me..again..but yet, i wonder, miraculously..how we can still survive..
i miss her, and i love her the most..
to haniza, thank you for this evening.
its 25 september, and i love you dear..much!

Errand of the week...

My errands of the week, is none other than picking amani from school. So it is whatever i am doing for the rest of the morning, but at 1 pm, i shall be picking her up..
so this the scenery in the car, waiting for the light turn to green...N another pic, is me..taken by amani...hehehe..
actually, this is a must do errans whenever i am home from school:)

a blog

A blogger need a pic, so people knows what they encountering daily or so..but im so lazy to take pics or what not..
not, im lazy to do anything coz there been lots more thing to be done and i havent get the time yet.

Words...

To be strong, to rise up from how the life is treating you now, we need some support. courage and words of encouragement. Without these, human barely can survive. There is rise in mental health problem in the world, due to this factor. And somehow, few encouraging words was all that needed to make sure we, can survive and live this life..
As to me, these were it..

a) by my lecturer; "Fatima, i know you will be someone great in the future. Just focus on this 8 months to yours study, and forget the rest"
b) by my cousin; "relationship means problem, so if you tell me a problem in relationship, it's common"..find ways.
c) by my dearest cousin; "All these problems make u get closer to Allah, use it and He wont test you with this, if He knew, you will break. Be strong. Pertolongan Allah itu terlampau dekat"
d) by a bestfriend,"Yup, life is complicated, just be strong"

It helps me to survive this few days to come and the rest, may I will find people that can give me encouragement and help in survive.

opinion-block..

I have not been thinking much and when i read a book, i just read it, and not criticizing or thinking on behalf of my own opinion. Therefore, i cannot make think of new opinion, that i strongly agree.
The consequences of this:
1) i could not generate and think for my research paper..i am stuck while i know i can do it
2) when i read the challenge; i just read, without understand what Tun meant in directly and what he wants us to think.
3) I end up not doing anything and sleep...and i dream. I know then, thats because my mind was not tired and im not utilisizing my thinking enough these days

Wonder what makes me that way....

Malay..Part 2

It seems that i may elaborate on this topic, on my opinion. Multiracial is a must if one's country wants to be successful. I may be prejudiced here, but take a look at our neighboring country, Brunei. Go there, and take a look on the economics, educations and everything there, not just the museums or what not. And realize, when we are in out own community, where we become 'soft' in a surrounding, we will not be better. in fact we will degrades and how can we survives and make the nation a great thing.
For me, if people wants to talk about Malay or praising the Malays and condeming others, take a look at the history and think on it. Dont just merely read. You will gain nothing. sometimes, we need a challenged, a boast, so we know how to strive better. look at all things in wider views and not just emotion based views. Emotions is not a reliable based judgment. Think and act. I can say a lot more that i dont like in Malays and i am hoping to change; be it the jpa (scholarship) thing, or the dependency of the malays towards the government.

veil..or is it?

this topic has been hotly discussed for few times by many people. Either we wear it as a fashion statement, as a way to protect our dignity, as the symbol of muslim and Islam or much more.
But in these days nowadays,tudung has been wear for many various reason.
People may argue that even org pakai tudung, do obscene things and did not follow the islamic guidelines..but for me, wearing tudung is more to protect our selves. It not a protection from getting rogol, some people may felt it meant this, but more to protect ourselves from ourselves. Our wrongdoings and wrong decision makings.
But wearibg tudung aslo didnt get us any immunity when we buat salah or we hurt others, let alone tudung labuh.
For me so people, misused certain concept in islam for their sake..but for me, everthing come hand in hand.
Islam come together with everything that governs this life. We have been given great mind to think and not to make any decision that will hurt others. For me everything happen for a reason...* i could not go on*
i havent think much of this subject yet, and i am a thinker. I still needs to read books and gain experiences before i can write it down.

Malays...

What with the recent issue of 10 percent intake of non-bumi to uitm? i mean, if the present govn made any suggestion of opening any of the bumi's or the malays rights to the non-bumi, surely they will be protest, but not as much as when the opposition mentioned..
everything is political in malaysia...including the education and even the healthcare profession.

OT...

I went to OT (Operation Theather) with En. Azlan (the in charge radiographer of the day for II), and in the room, he let me to screen the patient..Well, it was an experienced to me..i am so thrill and scared at the same time.
I mean, for a first time, I have to learn not to 'shot' the surgeon's hands or even, anyone else that didnt wear are lead gown..anyway, this is me, outside the room, on the way to changing room..and in front of OT 9, im in OT 8..btw..just segan lah amik situ..

What is the different between the Muslim and non-Muslim in Malaysia?

To tell the truth, now, i find the malay Muslims have become as bad, or might say, as worst and ignorence about their own religion, the Islam. For me, we have become just like the Europe, during i forget which century (will checked this fact) where the relgions has been separated from the daily life , the social network.
This already happen in Malaysia, i am not saying that Muslim in Malaysia, are the worst ever..but we are becoming one of them.
I am scared of what might happen in the future. The judgement day will surely come, but before that, there is the 'Hari Kiamat'. For now, i myself, need to be become a good person.so am i a selfish person, if i want to improve myself first, but ignored the people around me, of what they are doing...? or should i play my part?
but in this community nowadays, whatever the person are doing, is none of the person business. So, tell me how do you i behave in this kind of community?
sometimes, when this demoralization of the Muslim, are getting worst..i myself, am afraid to get married. For i dont know what might happen to my children.
Maybe if abstinence the option, then so be it...by God's will.
But, who knows, i might change my mind...after all, i am not in love with anyone, and there is no urgency to get married...and for any of the reasons that people get married for.

Judgement...

We live in a world...or a community where, the a small size person, will get the sympathy the world can offer...
the people that are manje, and looks like fragile..will also get the sympathy..coz they look fragile, even when they are the bad ones...
the people, that looks strong, tough in the inside..are the one that people will not treat them well, and sometimes, this people need the same amount of love from others as well.

Backstabber...

Latest experience i had..ended a relationship..a non-healthy relationship and discover that my 5 years best friends are actually are backstabbers...wonder how i can live with that?
and sometimes, all happen for a reason, just this one, i could not see it yet.

Practical

...I am doing my practical now, in government hospitals in pahang now. And this is what i can say about those who worked in the hospital..
That looks plays a great role in...entertaining the patient, but what boiled me off, was that looks, those that have pretty faces, tend to be hypocrite. The are only nice and look nice when they treating the patients and their colleagues, but not the students. The languages that they used are kasar...and it really irritates me, when they think looks can buy it all. I mean, c'mon you have to be nice to everyone. Just like a blog i read,the nurses especially, are only nice when good looking doctors are on their radar, or when they have good looking doctors. But when these two factors end, these will all gone. they can be a crazy devil and sometimes a b***h.
And i try to reason it all up, and i can come up with this; the one who choose to works in the hospital, are very tired and actually have to be a hypocrite from the start. We learn int when we are students (seriously).
As a student, we tend to be hypocrite to the radiographer ( i am a radiographer to be)..coz they dont exactly like us rite..(some lah)..so have to be hypocrite...and also..oh yeah..just to them.
But for the people, that actually worked there, they have to be positive in emotions to all people, the patients, their colleagues, the practical students, the doctors, the other people in the department and ect. And when they have a mood swing or some sort, they will be cranky and snappy to the patients and especially to the students lah..and just so nice-nice to the others..especially to their friends and good looking doctors and patients...
This is life...and i hate someone that have a damn pretty faces..but treat others like crap...
and for me, working with the old, matured people, we can learn more than with people like my age, or in the same era as me, coz they end up judges more,critic more, but appreciate less...except they love you and adored you...and forever they will adore you.
so suck up kan...

Latest trend in love...in life

What i figured now was...money buys all. And that what makes things hurt in the end. That retard the thinking development and what makes people suffered in the end.
What i found of the love style nowadays;
it doesnt matter if a man, is a player or the woman is a player, the concept is you got money. And sometimes, i wonder, why people can put up with many bad awful things that their partner does, and the answer will simply be, money. well, love may be part of it also, but money sure is play more important part than that.
What define someone as player?when they are in love with more than one person at one time? or when they had been in many relationships, just because they wanted to find the right one, not because they want to play their partners heart's? or when just want to gain something from a relationship? Tell me please.
This one thing, on love life is something that i could not understand till now. And i want to understand it. Sometimes, the saying that a girl can only love one person at a time, is wrong now. A girl can love more than one person at a time,and to tell you the truth, i more than impress with that ( but i dont think i can do that).
And there is also, someone that can love someone completely ...and i think, nowadays to find love, that much reflect the elder generation, is hard. There is divorce, freedom in speech, freedom in thinking.
And i found out that, the younger people tends to marry coz of love and when it fades away, things will get harder.
Well, i have learn few things in life and love. in my recent relationship. That we just need someone that we can have a connection somehow, and an interest that will ensure those things will spark us in the end later on. That family is important and that support from the loved ones is important as well. Then we can survived all the chaotic events later on. That i need love..i mean, the one, that is love.

Top family movies...

This is the family movies on my choice...over the years..

1) Con Air ( well i actually cried when i watched this movie, coz it shows the love between the husband to the wife, and especially the father to the daughter)\
2) Meet the Robinson ( Family thing again..family completes me)
3) Speed Racer ( Family completes me again)
4) The Last Samurai ( The love between, hm..this one hard to explain..the woman practically have to save the man (tom cruise) even though he killed her husband)
5) Dragon Heart ( I cried also, coz its painful the dragon had to kill himself, even he is the last one standing (dragon) just because his heart had been part of the devil prince.
6) Independence Day ( I just in love with this movie..the inspired speech by mr president, the love for the nation)

more to come soon

Speed Racer

The best family movie this summer. I didn't watch it when it came out last time, because few friends of mine told me this movie was so-so. But turns out it was a touching movie somehow. What i can deduced from this movie was:
1) Family is everything. When we have the support from them, nothing else matter and they are the best thing anyone can possibly have ever.
2) It doesn't matter if we have the best car, the best equipment or the most money in the world, just as long as the passion is there and there is a will. It is all that matter.
3) That coupleship, 'boy-girl friend' things, is wonderful can be more wonderful when they are completing each other and helping each other out.
4) That the bad people will always lose in the end even it take years to bring them down.
5) That patient is the best key when in trouble
6) That talking with the dad, always help when we are in doubtful position( me one of it) and with mum, it will always be comforting in the end. Its the mother's ability to make sure all are good and smooth between dad and me.
7) That again, family is the best thing we can possibly had, and that when we have that kind of family, to get out from it is impossible....

This is one of the movie that i will recommend ..and for me to watch it again, just to be reminded of the feeling in it.

My Love movies...

My top love movies (not in order of sequence):

1) City of Angels
2) Becoming Jane
3) Serendipity
4) My Best Friend's Wedding

So far...

Wondering...

I have been reading blogs, and newspaper and doing nothing of my work..uncool..coz my works is all that's important..and this morning, i went for a jog, inside UIA...and this captivated me and make me think..but i still could not get any answer..so anyone..
look at that tree and how it shades the road.. i mean, i can say its the work of gravity, but if you can see further down, the trunks are all straight up and just the leaves bending over..
its just like, most street i saw in the pictures, where the leaves are bending over and fascinatingly its happening just under my nose..i took this pic nearby the football field and nearby my college too.
so, what in my opinion now, on solidarity..people says when they are in group, they are not submitted to whats the group said, and still said that they have the rights for what ever else..such as their opinion..but actually, its a denial context. everyone needed a solidarity and its just a matter till we met one. its good in some sense, but also not in some.
anyhow, i could not think much and do my work much..too many things on my mind..mostly..academics and i want to be home.

Lately

I have so many things to write but seems that it all drifted away, coz lacked of internet connection so i just think it over and maybe be in a conversation with anyone in my sight, so i can spill my ideas to them...so for now, it's late already, i have lab tomorrow and need to make some revision first and have my dinner..
what new with me, before i update it all..
1) i want a batman....
2) i am reading 2 books that took longer to finish; The Challenge- Mahathir Mohamad and How To Research, A guide for Undergraduate & Graduate Students- Stanley Richardson et. all.
3) My last movie i watched in cinema, The Dark Knight..and in love with it
4) Im doing my practical in Temerloh for 3 weeks in a row...2 more to go
5) Finally settling all my undoubts and regaining my life back..after a sudden turnoff early this week
6) In love..with...sape ek..batman:))

Im bored

Im back in Kuantan, and im bored to death. I want to play some strategy games, but seems that the gurls dont have it (duh), aso i have to asked the boys..which i dreaded to since, i dont want to be whatever they want to called it as. So im stucked in borednedd-dom.
i spend my morning chatting over the YM and, and finding the research paper.
Oh, yeah. i want to go the MalaysianStudent Leader Summit, but seems, the place already booked up and and i have lab that day..waaa..not quite cool eh?
and i kinda piss with someone, well..not exactly, coz i tend to ignore what i felt nowadays and grow up from it, i mean..let it be just a temporary thing lah.
so what else is new..nothing.
oh, yer..tomorrow is my kulliyyah interaction day, the last one in my life as a student.
heh, cant wait to feel young again..but i guess..we are already matured and grow up..
but i want to feel young at heart..but matured in emotions, and mind and thinking.
so few steps need to be done as well, so let me see..where shall i start?
will get back to you when i had the time.
next week, i'm startingmy practical and im going home.:) cant wait!!

Generation...s

One of the things that Prophet SAW left us was that we should be take a great care of the parents friends and panjangkan the silaturrahim..and yes, the older generation done that very well. The baby boomer, the one that still have the conservatives value. But sooner, there comes the generation x; where this constitutes our parents,my parents. They will take care of the relationship, when it bring benefits for them, well, let say, some of it only, but they will only visit them when they have time, which in fact, they have limited time now..so they know and still remember their parents friends but they just dont keep in touch with them much.
Then comes the Generation Y. Which is me, my era. Well, for us, we dont even know who are our parents friends. .for the fact itself.and the parents dont bother to introduced us, so there goes..another generation. Plus, even they do introduce us, we end not having any time to visit them
Im not sure whats the generation Z might be.
Then there comes another ways of thinking;
for the baby boomer, they are very conservative. They want things properly and based what they did with the religions. So they are the conservative. They are not open with the homosexual issue, the sodomy, the lesbians, gays, friends for benefits..
they generation x, they realizes these things are happening, bt they tend to open up your mind and accept these things. They dont mind with the lesbians and gays and etc. but they avoid in doing it. They dont mind marrying ones, or living with ones.
Then there are the generation y..these generations practically doing it. And they dont feel any bit guilty of doing that, for for them, this is the way of progressive thinking and they feel its the social norm nowadays and as i mentioned before, virginity is not an issue here. So there goes another aspect of each generation.
They question here; what will happen to the next generation if these already coming nowadays..
?

Recent Book...faith+religion aspect

I am home now. And its Sunday. There are plenty of things to do and i have not done it yet. I supposed to think and draft on my research, watch Becoming Jane (again)..yup just those two. But since i am home. new errands taking up. The kitchen, the place where the heart of the home is, my beloved daddy, assign me to ensure it to be perfect, urm..better, excellent. So again, another trip to ikea, and i have to spent my brain thinking on how to decorate, imagine how the kitchen going to be look after this. Huh, it really makes me tired. I Have imagine at the same think, buying it and voila...What's new then, after i woke up from my sleep this morning, my dad asked me to buy plants and 'stuffs' for landscaping. He do left me the money thought. But, i was mortified and horrified,. C'mon, i have to think again, and this concern the lawn. I'm not good at this, not yet. So i started Googling...huh. and told my dad, this is going to take alot of hardwork. if you dont want to call an expert, since you have to monitored the plants need. So my dad said, dont buy it yet;today, but get a landscaping magazines and study it. Another thing to be looking at and study carefully besides my research.
And i just finished reading Dina Zaman; I am Muslim, this morning. Her book, was all true about Muslim in Malaysia. We just lose, with the religions and its really hard to survived nowadays. But , for me..its a reality and something must be done with it. Mostly, all that, are peer pressure and the need to fit in. For example, going to club, drinking, not wearing the veiled..if there is no peer pressure, this thing will be less likely to happen.
On the issue of virginity..its still is sacred and important. And what with the men doesnt even have to be virgin, just how selfish this community can be. You want to experience all the enjoyment in the world,; yet instead, still want a virgin lady to be your wife.
As for me, i play it equal on some aspect. There was also someone told me that I am like the Sister in Islam, because i have opinion on what i want to be, an in equality. Well, it hurts since it came from someone you love.
So truth be told here and reality does get checked...We, the Malays, especially, take religion for granted. We only comes back to Allah when we are in pain, suffered and earth calamity strike us. We choose and decide that we can repent when we get old, but til when will we survive and live in this earth? We comfort ourselves by saying we are not the Musyrikin, not an apostate and never shed our faith in believing that Allah the one and true God. For that, we said that for all the sins that we have done in this earth, and if we go to Hell after we died, for so long afterwards, we can still be in the Heaven. And thats us, for being the progessive Muslim, the think positive Muslim, the modern Muslim. And that's why, we are lost, and started to seek other ways to be accepted in Islamic modern ways, and we are gotten more lost than heading for the truth.
In fact, to be noted here, i am myself still wonders few things in life that concerns this as well.
If im was to read this book 5 months ago, i may not accept and be mortified, horrified even shocked to death, when i know whats going on in this society.
But, i grew. To be open up, to understand more, to learn, to think and reflect of what this life offers me. I grew matured in life and thinking. I may at that time, be the one said, 'i Could not believe them, or Dina Zaman named in this book as 'The Other', i may be in the one that think i am better than the rest in some aspect. But now, i realized thing more. I have been schocked and the fact disturb my sleeps for some times when i knew it, but now I have not.
Maybe there is hikmahs of everything that happen for the last 5 months. Maybe there was deep hikmah when i met that someone and maybe there is hikmah of everything that happen in my life recently.
But whats important is; to realize we are as a Muslim, to be grateful to Him is enough and in doing so, do whats He loves best for it is best for us as well.

New..

Today, my life started get back on track. The love story is 80% done, i finally let go..(i hope so) and i want to keep it away.Anyway, in the less than a month, i moved into a new house, get a room on my own finally..haha(but i still miss my old room mate, along lahpun..i mean we have been room mates since i could not possibly remember when despite all the fighting and arguing)..guess, growing up already:)
then, i am having my new laptop. This part, I am still guilty and i have make a promise to myself that i will take care of this laptop, like very very much. I mean, my first laptop was compaq and accidentally spilled water on it..its not even a year pun. Then, its dell inspiron, bought it when i starting out my degree and lasted on for 3 years..with so many problems with it. Right after the warranty was off,there appears strips of line on the screen and i have been living with that for 2 years. The ultimatum was when it got overheated and died. Even the power supply was not working and there it goes. And the last now, my new one,my latest and the one i loved very much at the moment now..is my ASUS...till now i was wondering why am i not choosing ASUS in the first place over other brand in the market..
i mean, i like the design, i like the name. just like the same reasons people will go after Macbook, well, its rare also to find people using ASUS, and i like to the bits. I mean, yesterday, i was lining up to set up my WIFI in the IT department, and there are plenty of people using compaq, acer, dell and benq. That was my choices last time also. There are some that used sony vio and im not sure i have encountered any using macbook..uhuh..and ASUS besides me:)..
what else i like about my new laptop, well, its the same just like any other vista (what im using now), but i still like it..thansk bunch to abah and jadati.. this time, i will treat and jaga it good k..
what else is new, hmm...oh, yeah..new car. Abah bought it for me and it was all cool and im thankful for that.
Oh yeah, what really new that wasnt supposed to be new..
i guess, finally us..the siblings, the sisters..are so closed with each other. We spend our time at home and we are closed that we called each other mostly everyday..thanks to abah for the line and along..we need to be in one plan..so we call each other for free too..:)...the rest, bilah, aiman and amani..you will come this to stage and its was fun. Just open up to us..and we will be there for you..i love you lots k..
and for some reason, that one particular person that thought me a lot on this. I mean, no matter how disassatraous yer family are, dysfunction or sort; they will be the one you love more and will love you..its just there..the security and the pamperness just wont go away..no matter what.
I cant wait to be home, which is like less than 36 hours.. I mean, i just get here last sunday, but i want to be home. I am homesick these days. I ate perfectly well, but i just feel hungry or not energetics..heheh. Want to be home and get cozy and lazy on the couch and watch the tv series and laugh heartedly with my siblings.
I guess for now, my heart is empty of love from the someone special thats why i loved my family like so much much more..kinda like a lil hypocrite aite..huhhu.
and i miss hanging out at least once in a week at any kopitiam and just shared the stories between us. More like to gossiping rite?hehe
and my learning issue for the past weeks..
maybe lesson came for me in hard ways. I have to experienced all that so that i know whats the best for me. Just like when i bought all the notebook. The first one was by impulse, and look where it got me. The second one, i think it through and asked people, but my option wasnt wide enough. I still in this glass that i set a bar, a line, that i could not buy beyond somethings..that i settle for that even after careful thought..and looks what happened in the end. And, my third one, i love it to the bits. Hope its fits what i want in a laptop..well, it do so far and i want to take care of it like hell. Well, hopefully, the third time is the charm, after 2 hard lesson of letting ur money down the drain.
And maybe this is a lesson for me too. Getting and wanting to get married and get engaged early. Its either impulsive (first case), or i have think it through, but i just didnt open my eyes wide enough for all the options to be pouring in some hypocritical reasons (i hope not) and last one, after everything have been weight upon.
Its hard..hurting many people in the process, but its when we know that we are finally grown and get ready to be in adult world.
And to be noted, some people just know to express their saying without exactly felt the pain and love..perhaps.
till then, love you lots.

New Day, New Sem...

Hiye there people, its been awhile.
Im back in Kuantan and I get homesick now..hahaha..kinda funny also. I beg my dad not to leave me that soon in Kuantan, but he wants to go back to home early, so i have to get my lunch in my Mahallat's cafe. Well, then it struck me that i am a senior. My my, i could not bear the thought that i am a senior. I feel old. There are too much of unfamiliar faces around me and i know i have to prepared of what may come soon in real life. And i have to enjoy my life as much as i can now, before i finally have to face all the real life crisis that effect the whole world.
I went to my gath, of 510 MRSMJ 01/02 last sat in KLCC. It was fun meeting all of them. But turns out, there's only 9 of us. There others have things in their way. But we talked and discussed and taking pictures. Lots of it. Much much also. The pictures will come soon.:).
and what else happening...
oh yeah, wait..I'm moving into new home. i like it. I dont know why, but i like it. Maybe the serenity. Will tell you more on that later.
And now, what is my plan for. Is to write a story of my love life that cause pain in me, so that i can move on. Its been 2 days since i'm working on that story and cant wait for it to be over. Spilling it, writing it, cause much pain in me. It feel hurt in the inside, but i have to spill it out. I have to let go and be free from the memory. When i reread the text messages and what ive written, it made me cried in the inside. Hope i can cried also on the outside. But hope i will not also. I have to let go, and i want to end the story ASAP.
Pray for me and senior year, here i comes.

love, me.

stresssss

okay, i am very stress now. When the working environment is not that great, than you feel you want to get out of there fast. I dont like today. First thing in the morning, my mood spoiled for what happen last night. Then, this morning, the last guy i want to worked with today, is in the same lab as me. I mean, c'mon. I thought he supposed to be in another lab. We not even talked, i mean, just exchanging some few words, and he still cold and i am to him too. Plus, a doctor, get ego-istic. Urgh, hate that. Wish i can get back to the old lab, the one with KA and S. But, its someone else's turn now.
Tomorrow is the last day, hopefully i cant survived. I missed my last case, because of my fault. I want to get back, i want to watched it. But my CAs incharged keep asking me when i do i want to get home, so i get tired with that question and i said now. BUt i want to watch PTMC. i mean, it is so rare, plus it is a high risk case. and i know also, this case will ends around 9++, nearly 10. dont think i want to stay there and just and be with that guy. Dont want him. Tomorrow, is the last day i will see him and hopefully the last one too.
Wish tomorrow will be better and i can relax. Wish, tomorrow is more great than today.

new..

been a few days before start posting one...and here goes. I at new hospital doing my practical..and i dont like it. I mean, all my other colleagues who went there. said all the staffs are very nice. But not to me and not when i'm there..so that place a no-no. And this maybe be a bit racist..
but, what i found..the malay race is the one, that hold back and information and does not like to share their knowledge with others. For them, a student is just student, you cannot do much, or whatever.
BUt, when i worked with the non-Malay, they are nice..helping you when you need hand, explaining all the procedures and and love to share their knowledge, after all..the knowledge we share will multiply by 10 folds when we shared it with others right?
and then, thats the fault of Malay people..most of them. The not even want to help their future generation and blame them much. Its not about entertainment, fulfill their soul with entertainment and joy and fun in life; its about the knowledge, that will be the next generation sole treasure. When can they understand. Most Malay people i know, have principal as such..they want the future generation to suffer just like they suffered. They forgot that the future generation need not to be suffered just like them, but pass down the lesson, so they will strive and be more successful than their ancestors, than now.
They are certain people who wants to learn, but the people around them, make it hard. There is no such thing like your boss, your advisor are the only right person. Malay people tends to be backwards because the so called "jgn melawan, jgn kurang ajar, hormat org tua'. That is why we became like this. We can be better, be succesfful, but those need to change. Maybe, just one person at a time can do it, follows by the other.
In other case, what Malays trademark also. They dont like to worked hard. They want fast and easy money and they dont like to worked hard. They are too hang up on the present government that for them, the best job is working in the government. I mean, yeah..the government been elected to served the people, but the Malays expect more. Help in all aspect but does not WANT to worked hard. Always complained and whined and....god i HATE that much.
Even in the holy Qur'an, and in fact in all religious sacred book. there are says..that no one will change unto others till they change themselves.
The Malays said there are the Muslims. But why they dont want to used the and let the sacred books be the guidance path.
All successful person, have a religious person and aspect in their life, no matter what religions.
They Malays should change a lot, if they want to be the best in life.
There is no point pleasing other people by using the phrase "hormat org lain", when Malay themselves being sold.

For Love or Money

iT COMES down to one thing in the end, the intention, the "niat"..the purpose..and all requires great thinking in life to handle..
just say what you need to say

Hardest Thing..

This morning, when i am driving to my practical hospital.this crossed my mind..
that, all of us..has mission, has something to look forward too, and decision to make..i am not talking about simple decision, but life changing decision..like..how to subsidies the fuel..(i know, i know..its the government that should think that), how to stop a relationship even if you know the feeling is not there and you could not see the future..but, making that decision, saying it out aloud..its like..hard. so hard. coz there are so many obstacles and created enough chaos, when you said it..til at that time, you dont want to make any decision and just hope for things to go on its own..
but its not going to..right..
nothing going too..
the longer its is on hold..the more problem will come and more decision need to be made..e
specially when all your moves need to be told and been watched like a hawk and there is no turning back from that.
sometimes, i wonder..will this ever change...will i ever get the chance to do what i wanted instead doing what other people wanted me to be..and to do.
till, then..
nway, today..my day was great..a patient hit on me..damn, thats was funny..but i dismissed him without "drop his water face"..heheh...nway, he must be married..he is 34 years old..for god sake...;)

August Rush

I feel it the moment i watched this movie. It is so touching, heart-reaching and magical. I feel how the mother feels for the lost of the son,(not like i have experienced it before:)), and i feel how he felt when he seek and searched for his parents for 11 years and ++ days.
I am loud when we watched it, luckily im at home and just my 4 younger sisters watching the movie with me..so they like, shut up, we want to smacked you and etc..coz i am loud and always asked them, wasnt it sad, ooh..this is sad..and omg..sedihnye....heheh...
but i feel more better if the director show the scene where mr evan taylor get to be introduced with his parents..i mean, the parents just there, in front of him..c'mon....
he is cute..damn cute..with the cute pair of dimple and the innocent face when he smile, grin and just be happy..man..and i am already having crushed on Jonathan Rhys Meyers..so not more on him..and the mommy..i forgot what is her name, but she bears the name of Lyla Novacek...she's a beauty...
so, people, that read my blog..watch August Rush and tell me what do you think k..
btw, i just happen to know someone, who has been an orphan in his life and i feel very sorry for him. He lost his confidence in life and very naive in living.
I know he is nice, but this time around..i have to know when to stop..and let the ship sail on its own....:)
till then, my assignment havent finished yet let alone im touching it..i just havent the feeling yet and whole lot of battle star gallactica episodes are waiting to be watched...
hmmmm..wonder which one comes first???.....

Where Rainbow Ends...

This is a novel, by Cecillia Ahern. Great novel, could not put it down, the moment i read it.
This novel is not a novel, but just notes, emails, letters, chat conversation of a lady, name Rosie Dunne. This story is about a bestfriends, Alex and Rosie; been friends since 5 years old. Fall in love with each other, but making mistakes and life's decision. Married the college sweetheart, high school sweetheart and etc. And i know, im spoiling the surprise now,, but after 45 years..yurp, you get me right, at the age of 50, both of them confessing of their love and wants to be with each other for real.
What the novel emphasize is the "magical silence moment"..
and i wonder..have i experience that. It said, when you get that moment. you know you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, and that person is your "one,the one"..but have it experienced it, encountered it?>>> i wonder.
and i am tired to think and reflect of my love life now..its tiring and exhausted. I dont know what i want now, but i know, if i can just repeat my life, i want to start from the moment i had my PMR result, i will not moved out from Sri Aman...or okay..changed that..if i do go to MRSM JASIN...then i will stay "gay", not falling in love, or jump out to love and be the best, so there wont be things that i will regret in my life.
I could not remember things that i regret before im 15, but since that..i am regretting hell lotsa of things..and i need to stop now.
I want to be the best and at least, for once..stop regretting of what happened in my life, for i controlled my life with my sane mind back then, instead of impulsive-emotion driven mind nowadays.
Hell, i want a bestfriend and a moment, those magical moment and spent my life, having someone that i think of constantly and love no matter what happened.

Pics...heheh

Haigen Diaz ice cream, shared with Sofiah..damn nice...and then seafood pizza at Swensen..along and abah treat..and celebrating Mother's Day with jadati..buying classic cheesecake(no, i dont love it..so if anyone reading my blog want to treat me with it..no-no..my mum's frozen cheese cake still the best!!), braking to hard..the cake box toppled over and voila..look what happen to the cake..so lesson to learnt..DONT BREAK FAST AND HARD...play it safe, play it cool..:))
till then, enjoy the indulgement sensation..

Happy..Ceria?!

Hey...im in SMC now..so been telling you that in my previous post. Today, the typist for the radiologist, told me that i am a ceria girl. That whenever i start talking or even open my mouth, i am happy..i feel not. I mean, i dont think so..i feel just normal and mundane..hahah..seriously...then the radiologist..he look stressed, i mean, he is stressed..then i called him to go to CT scan to review the images..and he said, fatima..why are you always happy? can you not...hahah..i am shocked, so i said..when im on my PMS, then i will be in bad mood..heheh...then he smile:)).so overall, maybe i am happy kot..i mean, thats my family..my siblings..talkatives, happy always, even so many things in mind and loud..hahah.
so, let see, whats going on lately...that friend, the long lost friend..oh..not the long lost friend, that someone..do called me, and texted me...on the last day exam..and im happy, coz thats mean "someone" still want to be friends with me..YEAY...hehe. so we talked a little, just that. and "someone" went back to hometown..i want to meet that someone, but seems that someone dont want to meet me..so be it lah, no need to wait and hope for something that seems impossible:)
so on my weekends, after my practical..i went to my gramma's house..was a blast actually..took my grandma out for shopping of her groceries with two of my guy cousins..hahah..first time, man!..and we went and have something to much on just me and 3 guy cousins later on..went home before maghrib and feel great..coz spend sometime and make my grandma happy:))
on sunday..i watched, Seven..owh..thats sat nite movie..great one..7 deeds that make you rot in hell..Christians version kay..:)its 1995 movie and eventhough get ranked 18 those days, its so clean and have "nothing"..unlike the U nowadays...:(huh.
that sunday morning, watched Chuck..man, that series was good..damn good..hehe, and spend my noon sleeping coz will spent my time watching movie with fam that nite..Indiana Jones..heheh..
dam cool rite. Thanks to abah, for treating us at the BK and to along for the movie tickets..:))!!
and thats it..owh, wait up..before i went to the cinema, i watched 21..cool movie and just cool lah..luck on yer side, Jeff Ma:))
and just now, i have lunch with my special friend. He is someone, that im so close with, i am close with..since i left Jasin till now. And we never met even once after high school. but we keep in touch by phones and smses only..and yurp..just now, was the first..after nearly 6 years didnt meet and then voila...hehe..
kinda fun hanging out with him and. I hope he did not hope much from me. I hate when the guys end up in love with me..or they thought they were after the first date. I mean, i know im flexible and can get along with anyone..but c'mon, you must like someone more than just the first date. The attraction must be there,and the spark..well, for me..i go for the chemistry..:)