2 choices...

assalamualaikum,
it's been a long time since i write in this blog.
for few months before, i have been facing with major decisions that involves two choices.
regarding my future, my life.
i lists all the pros and cons when deciding.
i get my parents views and other people views, regarding all aspects.
I istikharah.
(I forgot the narrator, but there is a hadith saying, x rugi org yg beristikaharah and bermusyuwarah before making a decision).
i have taken my steps, and yes, with all efforts that i have done in deciding all my future, there is sabar. the biggest pemangkin. sbb tu ade hadith ckp, sabar sebahagian daripada iman.

but logically (in my opinion), we must make a decision. there is no choosing both to puaskan hati dua2, or coz we nak play it safe. in this case, play it safe dah x valid, its more to being selfish or greed. we want both and just to satisfy diri sendiri, we do it.

sometimes, mmg keputusan kena buat, and people get hurt. but i remember what my lecturer told me, once decision has been made, kena istiqamah. penting tuh. and a friend once told me, i made my decision already; i've jumped already, nw to see im landing or not, safely.

and the worst decision to be made, when involve what we want and what our parents want. it is not easy. and istikharah still penting.

recently, i read(dh lame tinggal benda nie) kisah2 nabi...and on nabi adam a.s. remember about his anak2, twins of habil and iqlima and qabil and labuda. well, nabi adam nak kawinkan anak die with qabil and iqlima and habil and labuda. but qabil bangkang. and nabi adam x nak anak2 die bergaduh and pecah belah. so nabi adam berserah to Allah, and Allah tunjuk yg die terima korban Habil (you can read yang longer version in buku, or al-quran). it is a very good story for a family in decision making.

and by this, mmg parents penting and also istikaharah to Allah. He will give intuition or gerak hati to his servants.

I subscribe to daily meditation, and one of the advice they told me, listen to the inner feelings, the gut feelings. and guess what, in Islam, Allah pun suruh kite listen to that, especially after we istikharah and bermesyuarat.

so listen.

and lastly, as adult, matured thinking sensible adult, regardless of what our choice were, when we picked one, the end results, there shall be no one to be blame on it. except our self. and no regret, avoid it. jgn sbb parents yg suruh kite do something and something bad or not good happen with it, we blame on our parents. or our spouse made us do it, we blame it on them.

in life, the decision rests upon us, with Allah guiding us, and parents /husband (for perempuan) sokong. anyhow remember, hati manusia mmg senang dibolak balik by syaitan and only to Allah kite boleh berserah and berharap. so pray.

as for me, i pray my relationship with parents will not severe with my decision.
i believe in Him, and i believe He will help me.

Ameeen.

Parentsssss........................

parents?..what i can i say?...
1.for those who had a better childhood, they will get spoiled and will be irresponsible to their family later on;and for those who had a bitter childhood, they will ensure their family, their kids, gets what their lacked on, and the cycle will repeated all over again.
2. but parents who had been spoiled and treat their kids bad, they wont realized it ever, coz for them, they have given the best and blame their kids later on, and stay regret when they realized whats happening to their spoilt child..and for parents that had bitter childhood and treat their kids good, they realized what is going on with their kids, and for this type of parents, they will never felt what they have done are good enough, for they never had it when they were young..and they will always give.

and the cycle will keep on repeating all over again.

Parents = guilt, kids = spoilt....

This morning, when i wake up, suddenly this crossed my mind. In school nowadays, parents just wont accept that their kids are 'evil' or even naughty; for them, it is norm for a kids to behave that way. That is why, the blame was all on the teachers.
The parents felt that their parents did not 'loved' them enough when they had their times in school last time, so they wanted to be the best parents ever, so they just support their kids and end up blaming, suing, hurting the teachers more.
Well, the kids, since the parents end up listening to them, what can they asked more, except...being spoil..duh...so even they are the one to be blame on, for them, they have the support and immunity behind them..the PARENTS.
so being parents is very hard. Basically and realistically, they are the who shaped the future generation. If the didikan was good, then insyaAllah, things will be good also. But if it is not, then, Wallahualam..
So marriage now for me, will not be a love between two..but more to how to build a family and perfecting the flaws and accepting things...