A Wednesday View

As I pass through my friends page in facebook,it fascinates me with how mane people that is single, getting married and already married.

And yet few of them, are my dear friends. Thus, may be for some of us, that is still single; had happened an event/events that make them to be more conscious and take a step back from the relationship drama. And just wait for the heart to be open and up to a point, when they don't care less of what had happened around them.

For my friends who are getting married; my prayers are for you. You are brave enough to make a leap for that. After hearing and knowing the married life from the experienced one, you are still brave enough.

For my friends who already married; congratulations. You have entered a new phase in life. Be strong. There are some i am envy of their happiness, wish i can have the same as them and they are some that i pray to god to give them strength for their new ship. it may be a battleship but yet, the love will grow.

As for all of you, we will never walk alone. The married one will be along side the family and the single one, I know you have your own pillar to hold on too.

Maybe this sounds to common for all of you;

But, Allah has promised His servants. He is with us, no matter what journey you head too

Istiqamah, sabar.

* Eventhough now i understand, that sabar mmg amat2 susah, thats y it's half of the iman.

Enjoy reading and thinking.

New Experience

I am in working environment now, thus there must be new experience for me to collect, to gain some insight on and to reflect and understand what is going on.

For me, sometimes, i feel like certain people treat me like i am still im matured, lack in experience, and whatever i told them, for them to judge me beforehand not for them to respect me.

Just because i, did not act like them before, they told me that i lack in experience, and i need to face life. but for me, i learn from experience, mine and others. why should i act like them to understand how they feel it thats bad?

sometimes, i feel like saying, when they were at my age, have they think like me?

please stop the judgemental preceptions.

nevertherless, my aim was working to gain information and knowledge, not others.

InsyaAllah, iman akan terjaga, as long as i know the basic.

InsyaAllah.

The Regret

There was time in my life, i try to avoid feeling regret, but lately..now, i think regret is a must.
I try to be positive and optimism, but in this particular case, those cant do, except that person really hati batu..
so i am regret.
and for me now, with love comes regret.

2 choices...

assalamualaikum,
it's been a long time since i write in this blog.
for few months before, i have been facing with major decisions that involves two choices.
regarding my future, my life.
i lists all the pros and cons when deciding.
i get my parents views and other people views, regarding all aspects.
I istikharah.
(I forgot the narrator, but there is a hadith saying, x rugi org yg beristikaharah and bermusyuwarah before making a decision).
i have taken my steps, and yes, with all efforts that i have done in deciding all my future, there is sabar. the biggest pemangkin. sbb tu ade hadith ckp, sabar sebahagian daripada iman.

but logically (in my opinion), we must make a decision. there is no choosing both to puaskan hati dua2, or coz we nak play it safe. in this case, play it safe dah x valid, its more to being selfish or greed. we want both and just to satisfy diri sendiri, we do it.

sometimes, mmg keputusan kena buat, and people get hurt. but i remember what my lecturer told me, once decision has been made, kena istiqamah. penting tuh. and a friend once told me, i made my decision already; i've jumped already, nw to see im landing or not, safely.

and the worst decision to be made, when involve what we want and what our parents want. it is not easy. and istikharah still penting.

recently, i read(dh lame tinggal benda nie) kisah2 nabi...and on nabi adam a.s. remember about his anak2, twins of habil and iqlima and qabil and labuda. well, nabi adam nak kawinkan anak die with qabil and iqlima and habil and labuda. but qabil bangkang. and nabi adam x nak anak2 die bergaduh and pecah belah. so nabi adam berserah to Allah, and Allah tunjuk yg die terima korban Habil (you can read yang longer version in buku, or al-quran). it is a very good story for a family in decision making.

and by this, mmg parents penting and also istikaharah to Allah. He will give intuition or gerak hati to his servants.

I subscribe to daily meditation, and one of the advice they told me, listen to the inner feelings, the gut feelings. and guess what, in Islam, Allah pun suruh kite listen to that, especially after we istikharah and bermesyuarat.

so listen.

and lastly, as adult, matured thinking sensible adult, regardless of what our choice were, when we picked one, the end results, there shall be no one to be blame on it. except our self. and no regret, avoid it. jgn sbb parents yg suruh kite do something and something bad or not good happen with it, we blame on our parents. or our spouse made us do it, we blame it on them.

in life, the decision rests upon us, with Allah guiding us, and parents /husband (for perempuan) sokong. anyhow remember, hati manusia mmg senang dibolak balik by syaitan and only to Allah kite boleh berserah and berharap. so pray.

as for me, i pray my relationship with parents will not severe with my decision.
i believe in Him, and i believe He will help me.

Ameeen.

A writer

It's been a long time since this blog updated..
and no..i have not stop thinking.
there are much in my mind, but its new month, and i need some new perspectives.
so i shall:

1. stop thinking about other people and start concentrating on me
2. start writing again, just like last time..' cause clarity comes with writing'
3. the pain will subsides, the experiences will make us matured, the wheel will keep on turning and as long as i want to feel alive and what this life can offer me, i have to bear all that.
but i learn also new thing.
perseverance and cold heart.

Memory Lane...when i stepped out

these views..when i stepped out from kulliyyah of medicine..back to my room..enjoy..!pastu, nmpk jalan...heheh
then, view yang amat familiar when balik jalan kaki...
jalan...jalan...smpi hbs susur gajah..nmpk lah round about...lawa kan..

pastu, view nie..mmg sah sah sume org sedar bile balik jalan kaki..tp impian yang patutnyer clear water, end up murky water..
and...view nie mase naik tangga nak gi blok ku..m4

Memory lane...in the room...

this is after i bring 3/4 of my stuffs on 25th of april 09...
but the 1/4..waaa..banyak gak..:)

Memory Lane...from the room...

I am here in Putra Heights...and for good..well there will be a (confirm) another time that i will went back, during clearance..but for now.. these are from my memory..

This is from my room window..8th of April 09














Another shot also, same tarikh...














tapi, this is on 26th april 09...beza kan..actually this tree facinate me sepanjang 4 tahun im staying at my room..since my blind rosak and x leh naikkan, and plus with the langsir..i always keep untie it...so i barely look outside my window to appreciate this..but, i do..and i will miss the 'seasonal' yellow flowers..and the bees that came in my room when its full of flower unlike below...

yang ni monyet2 yang sokmo curi makanan..and alhamdullilah..sepanjang 4 tahun, xde yang get into my compartment..:)
and this is the view...when i stepped outside my room...

and

Preseverance...

Tomorrow, less than 20 hours, the submission of my 12 credit hours final year paper...
i am numb now, there are so many feelings that i want to feel, i hope i managed to feel it tomorrow, together with relief of course.
i mean, i have been here for four years, and the last two years has been challenging enough, that for me to survived now, still make me wonder how.

Maybe, this is the lesson i learn here, now, when i am in university...that it is not what the books taught you too, not what the lecturers taught too, but it is the hidden value that we bring with our selves when we come out from the place.

The friends that we still care and keep in touch, the memories that soon will fade since human are temporary..in everything...but most importantly,

Ourselves...we bring ourselves outside with all the values, the maturity, the experiences...to make us face the world and face what life can offer.

I am facing what life can offer me..in less than 20 hours..am i ready?

the more we know..

They are certain things that we should put in mind when socializing..in friendship.
1. That when we get to know someone, we either first realized the superficial good and the bad qualities.
2. when we know them well enough, we can see underneath the superficial good and bad of that particular someone.
3. so maybe after second phase, we develop new feelings for that person. so the third phase is dangerous..coz this phase is when we can really see that person. the selfishness, the arrogance; the true self.this is when acceptance really test the patients and sometimes, it is really hard to walk away from this phase, since somehow, much commitment is given.

Thus, up to second phase is enough. Third, make sure we embrace enough and really really ready for it.
take care.

selfish, self-less

selfish, is what people have, but the difference is..it is more menonjol or not.
so if you want to see weather a certain someone is selfish or not..
try to look at pictures..
it works really well, when in group of friends..some poeple love taking pictures and some love to be taken pictures of.
but the truth is why..some people love to be taken pictures off, because they want to see it later on..and they wont realize others that was not inside the pictures.
and for people that love taking pictures, yes they love it, but 'maybe' coz they end up beralah, coz the others wont do the picture taking...and wants to get inside the picture.
one way to try and be self-less...go out with a group of friends, and bring a camera. if they dont want to take pictures of others and expect 'you' as the only...they are selfish and i bet they dont care about you not getting into the picture..
but thats the way to become unselfish and embrace yourself...it is really tough and painful..knowing people dont care and selfish with themselves.

We get back...

Just now in the car, on my way to Terus Maju, Temerloh after practical; this came to mind..
" Whatever we said, we always get it back".
Its like this, when we say bad things about other people, mostly about x puas hati with them, sooner or later we will end up doing it..and its what people (the one that realize this concept) afraid off.
So that is why in Islam, or even in Al-Qur'an, this has been address. We have been told not to talk bad about other people, to express to unsatisfaction openly - with the intention to burukkan that person, and make us feel like we are the good one..coz end up, we will be like them
so this cross my mind;
if we talk bad about other people, we will end up like them; what if we always talk good about other people..and cherished them, will we be like them later on in life?
]

My stress reliever....=))

Say..today i am so stressed out..well, with what happened..and practical, and with my current 'enjoy' friends...that i really need a good slice of chocolate cake to wash it all away..and a good movie..but unfortunately, i have assignment to be submitted tomorrow.
so, when i reached my room, i hug my roommate cum my classmate cum my bestfriend..hehe..and then, she surprised me with a bar of Cadbury chocolate..wow..i am so happy..so i get my first stress reliever..:))
then, i told her my stressness of the week..and she let me eat her mango pudding..and we had the stress reliever session until maghrib..so my another room mate cum bestfriend, came back..and i eat her makanan..hahaha...
and my craved for chocolate cake still on..i have been craving since last sunday..and i thot, well, i can be bersabar and wait for tomorrow..but then, my craveness starts...so i tear the chocolate foil, take a piece, and text my bestfriend (she went out for drink with friend)..tell her i want a secret recipe chocolate cake..
and guess what, 10 mins then, i got a text msg from a friend of mine..telling me to meet him..and voila..i got my chocolate indulgence secret recipe cake..requested from subang..by..hm...what shall i name him as ek..sweet boy;)...
so i end up grinning from ear to ear and i can finally settle doing my assignment...

but yet, until now, i havent finished with mu assignment..laziness crawling in...bad my dear, bad for me..
gud nite people....and thank you..my bestfriends and my sweet guy:))

i have settle

finally, i have seen it. I thot with friends it will be different, and i give my best. I try to be the best for them, with the hope that it is different from couple relationship. but turn out, it is the same.
and maybe, i test myself, make me venture into it..to see how it goes, and now i have seen the result. There is no such thing as pure love anymore, not between friends anymore. Even like, or love between boy and girl make them do things they never do before..there is no unselfish love anymore.
maybe is still exist, but with four best buds, i have not seen it.
there goes friendship.
so if i stop loving them, does that make me like them?
i am not stopping myself from loving them, i am stop. and loving myself more.
i need to mend me, to pull me back again, to be happy again and find and head back to my friends, who love me and not selfish.

experiences are the greatest teacher....

experiences taught me things, made me think more, made my mind alert more, my conscious level in peak, and made me figure out who i was, and what i am.
it made me understand myself, well indeed that was what i want to be.
it made me realize that, it takes situations, to bring out something like this. an event.
it makes me a human and perhaps a better man (woman)...

yes, we need to take a break from who we are last time, to understand our selves better.

finally...

its been a long time since i post one here...its not due to busyness of anything..but more to tired to blog, to much tab to browse into, too playful and enjoying lately..

my thoughts:

1) that based on today's news, i dont know where Islam stands anymore in this world..not, let alone Malaysia. there are too many people fighting it.

2) i cannot now, demarcated the good and bad. i dont know where to draw to line. no, thats doesnt meant i have done those things, but more like i encountered it in real life, seen it. so what is good and bad then?

3) there is always be first time in life...but in encountering the first time; i- are we ready for what may come, ii- can we pull the brake and stop in the middle of it; iii- can we just take the first time and said, 'I have enough'.

4) so now i know, when in Islam said, pandangan pertama and all the pertama(s) in the our life, when it is against the syariat, then stop. turn away, head for another direction. it is easier said then done. coz after the first time, it will always be 'ketagih' and the nafsu mengawal diri.

5) this is when muhasabah, doa and keinsafan should come hand in hand. not because of 'forbidden love', but more to true love...