Where Rainbow Ends...

This is a novel, by Cecillia Ahern. Great novel, could not put it down, the moment i read it.
This novel is not a novel, but just notes, emails, letters, chat conversation of a lady, name Rosie Dunne. This story is about a bestfriends, Alex and Rosie; been friends since 5 years old. Fall in love with each other, but making mistakes and life's decision. Married the college sweetheart, high school sweetheart and etc. And i know, im spoiling the surprise now,, but after 45 years..yurp, you get me right, at the age of 50, both of them confessing of their love and wants to be with each other for real.
What the novel emphasize is the "magical silence moment"..
and i wonder..have i experience that. It said, when you get that moment. you know you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, and that person is your "one,the one"..but have it experienced it, encountered it?>>> i wonder.
and i am tired to think and reflect of my love life now..its tiring and exhausted. I dont know what i want now, but i know, if i can just repeat my life, i want to start from the moment i had my PMR result, i will not moved out from Sri Aman...or okay..changed that..if i do go to MRSM JASIN...then i will stay "gay", not falling in love, or jump out to love and be the best, so there wont be things that i will regret in my life.
I could not remember things that i regret before im 15, but since that..i am regretting hell lotsa of things..and i need to stop now.
I want to be the best and at least, for once..stop regretting of what happened in my life, for i controlled my life with my sane mind back then, instead of impulsive-emotion driven mind nowadays.
Hell, i want a bestfriend and a moment, those magical moment and spent my life, having someone that i think of constantly and love no matter what happened.