Sunday, August 30, 2009

2 choices...

assalamualaikum,
it's been a long time since i write in this blog.
for few months before, i have been facing with major decisions that involves two choices.
regarding my future, my life.
i lists all the pros and cons when deciding.
i get my parents views and other people views, regarding all aspects.
I istikharah.
(I forgot the narrator, but there is a hadith saying, x rugi org yg beristikaharah and bermusyuwarah before making a decision).
i have taken my steps, and yes, with all efforts that i have done in deciding all my future, there is sabar. the biggest pemangkin. sbb tu ade hadith ckp, sabar sebahagian daripada iman.

but logically (in my opinion), we must make a decision. there is no choosing both to puaskan hati dua2, or coz we nak play it safe. in this case, play it safe dah x valid, its more to being selfish or greed. we want both and just to satisfy diri sendiri, we do it.

sometimes, mmg keputusan kena buat, and people get hurt. but i remember what my lecturer told me, once decision has been made, kena istiqamah. penting tuh. and a friend once told me, i made my decision already; i've jumped already, nw to see im landing or not, safely.

and the worst decision to be made, when involve what we want and what our parents want. it is not easy. and istikharah still penting.

recently, i read(dh lame tinggal benda nie) kisah2 nabi...and on nabi adam a.s. remember about his anak2, twins of habil and iqlima and qabil and labuda. well, nabi adam nak kawinkan anak die with qabil and iqlima and habil and labuda. but qabil bangkang. and nabi adam x nak anak2 die bergaduh and pecah belah. so nabi adam berserah to Allah, and Allah tunjuk yg die terima korban Habil (you can read yang longer version in buku, or al-quran). it is a very good story for a family in decision making.

and by this, mmg parents penting and also istikaharah to Allah. He will give intuition or gerak hati to his servants.

I subscribe to daily meditation, and one of the advice they told me, listen to the inner feelings, the gut feelings. and guess what, in Islam, Allah pun suruh kite listen to that, especially after we istikharah and bermesyuarat.

so listen.

and lastly, as adult, matured thinking sensible adult, regardless of what our choice were, when we picked one, the end results, there shall be no one to be blame on it. except our self. and no regret, avoid it. jgn sbb parents yg suruh kite do something and something bad or not good happen with it, we blame on our parents. or our spouse made us do it, we blame it on them.

in life, the decision rests upon us, with Allah guiding us, and parents /husband (for perempuan) sokong. anyhow remember, hati manusia mmg senang dibolak balik by syaitan and only to Allah kite boleh berserah and berharap. so pray.

as for me, i pray my relationship with parents will not severe with my decision.
i believe in Him, and i believe He will help me.

Ameeen.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

A writer

It's been a long time since this blog updated..
and no..i have not stop thinking.
there are much in my mind, but its new month, and i need some new perspectives.
so i shall:

1. stop thinking about other people and start concentrating on me
2. start writing again, just like last time..' cause clarity comes with writing'
3. the pain will subsides, the experiences will make us matured, the wheel will keep on turning and as long as i want to feel alive and what this life can offer me, i have to bear all that.
but i learn also new thing.
perseverance and cold heart.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Memory Lane...when i stepped out

these views..when i stepped out from kulliyyah of medicine..back to my room..enjoy..!pastu, nmpk jalan...heheh
then, view yang amat familiar when balik jalan kaki...
jalan...jalan...smpi hbs susur gajah..nmpk lah round about...lawa kan..

pastu, view nie..mmg sah sah sume org sedar bile balik jalan kaki..tp impian yang patutnyer clear water, end up murky water..
and...view nie mase naik tangga nak gi blok ku..m4

Memory lane...in the room...


this is after i bring 3/4 of my stuffs on 25th of april 09...
but the 1/4..waaa..banyak gak..:)

Memory Lane...from the room...

I am here in Putra Heights...and for good..well there will be a (confirm) another time that i will went back, during clearance..but for now.. these are from my memory..

This is from my room window..8th of April 09














Another shot also, same tarikh...














tapi, this is on 26th april 09...beza kan..actually this tree facinate me sepanjang 4 tahun im staying at my room..since my blind rosak and x leh naikkan, and plus with the langsir..i always keep untie it...so i barely look outside my window to appreciate this..but, i do..and i will miss the 'seasonal' yellow flowers..and the bees that came in my room when its full of flower unlike below...

yang ni monyet2 yang sokmo curi makanan..and alhamdullilah..sepanjang 4 tahun, xde yang get into my compartment..:)
and this is the view...when i stepped outside my room...

and

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Preseverance...


Tomorrow, less than 20 hours, the submission of my 12 credit hours final year paper...
i am numb now, there are so many feelings that i want to feel, i hope i managed to feel it tomorrow, together with relief of course.
i mean, i have been here for four years, and the last two years has been challenging enough, that for me to survived now, still make me wonder how.

Maybe, this is the lesson i learn here, now, when i am in university...that it is not what the books taught you too, not what the lecturers taught too, but it is the hidden value that we bring with our selves when we come out from the place.

The friends that we still care and keep in touch, the memories that soon will fade since human are temporary..in everything...but most importantly,

Ourselves...we bring ourselves outside with all the values, the maturity, the experiences...to make us face the world and face what life can offer.

I am facing what life can offer me..in less than 20 hours..am i ready?

Sunday, April 5, 2009

the more we know..

They are certain things that we should put in mind when socializing..in friendship.
1. That when we get to know someone, we either first realized the superficial good and the bad qualities.
2. when we know them well enough, we can see underneath the superficial good and bad of that particular someone.
3. so maybe after second phase, we develop new feelings for that person. so the third phase is dangerous..coz this phase is when we can really see that person. the selfishness, the arrogance; the true self.this is when acceptance really test the patients and sometimes, it is really hard to walk away from this phase, since somehow, much commitment is given.

Thus, up to second phase is enough. Third, make sure we embrace enough and really really ready for it.
take care.