New..

Today, my life started get back on track. The love story is 80% done, i finally let go..(i hope so) and i want to keep it away.Anyway, in the less than a month, i moved into a new house, get a room on my own finally..haha(but i still miss my old room mate, along lahpun..i mean we have been room mates since i could not possibly remember when despite all the fighting and arguing)..guess, growing up already:)
then, i am having my new laptop. This part, I am still guilty and i have make a promise to myself that i will take care of this laptop, like very very much. I mean, my first laptop was compaq and accidentally spilled water on it..its not even a year pun. Then, its dell inspiron, bought it when i starting out my degree and lasted on for 3 years..with so many problems with it. Right after the warranty was off,there appears strips of line on the screen and i have been living with that for 2 years. The ultimatum was when it got overheated and died. Even the power supply was not working and there it goes. And the last now, my new one,my latest and the one i loved very much at the moment now..is my ASUS...till now i was wondering why am i not choosing ASUS in the first place over other brand in the market..
i mean, i like the design, i like the name. just like the same reasons people will go after Macbook, well, its rare also to find people using ASUS, and i like to the bits. I mean, yesterday, i was lining up to set up my WIFI in the IT department, and there are plenty of people using compaq, acer, dell and benq. That was my choices last time also. There are some that used sony vio and im not sure i have encountered any using macbook..uhuh..and ASUS besides me:)..
what else i like about my new laptop, well, its the same just like any other vista (what im using now), but i still like it..thansk bunch to abah and jadati.. this time, i will treat and jaga it good k..
what else is new, hmm...oh, yeah..new car. Abah bought it for me and it was all cool and im thankful for that.
Oh yeah, what really new that wasnt supposed to be new..
i guess, finally us..the siblings, the sisters..are so closed with each other. We spend our time at home and we are closed that we called each other mostly everyday..thanks to abah for the line and along..we need to be in one plan..so we call each other for free too..:)...the rest, bilah, aiman and amani..you will come this to stage and its was fun. Just open up to us..and we will be there for you..i love you lots k..
and for some reason, that one particular person that thought me a lot on this. I mean, no matter how disassatraous yer family are, dysfunction or sort; they will be the one you love more and will love you..its just there..the security and the pamperness just wont go away..no matter what.
I cant wait to be home, which is like less than 36 hours.. I mean, i just get here last sunday, but i want to be home. I am homesick these days. I ate perfectly well, but i just feel hungry or not energetics..heheh. Want to be home and get cozy and lazy on the couch and watch the tv series and laugh heartedly with my siblings.
I guess for now, my heart is empty of love from the someone special thats why i loved my family like so much much more..kinda like a lil hypocrite aite..huhhu.
and i miss hanging out at least once in a week at any kopitiam and just shared the stories between us. More like to gossiping rite?hehe
and my learning issue for the past weeks..
maybe lesson came for me in hard ways. I have to experienced all that so that i know whats the best for me. Just like when i bought all the notebook. The first one was by impulse, and look where it got me. The second one, i think it through and asked people, but my option wasnt wide enough. I still in this glass that i set a bar, a line, that i could not buy beyond somethings..that i settle for that even after careful thought..and looks what happened in the end. And, my third one, i love it to the bits. Hope its fits what i want in a laptop..well, it do so far and i want to take care of it like hell. Well, hopefully, the third time is the charm, after 2 hard lesson of letting ur money down the drain.
And maybe this is a lesson for me too. Getting and wanting to get married and get engaged early. Its either impulsive (first case), or i have think it through, but i just didnt open my eyes wide enough for all the options to be pouring in some hypocritical reasons (i hope not) and last one, after everything have been weight upon.
Its hard..hurting many people in the process, but its when we know that we are finally grown and get ready to be in adult world.
And to be noted, some people just know to express their saying without exactly felt the pain and love..perhaps.
till then, love you lots.

New Day, New Sem...

Hiye there people, its been awhile.
Im back in Kuantan and I get homesick now..hahaha..kinda funny also. I beg my dad not to leave me that soon in Kuantan, but he wants to go back to home early, so i have to get my lunch in my Mahallat's cafe. Well, then it struck me that i am a senior. My my, i could not bear the thought that i am a senior. I feel old. There are too much of unfamiliar faces around me and i know i have to prepared of what may come soon in real life. And i have to enjoy my life as much as i can now, before i finally have to face all the real life crisis that effect the whole world.
I went to my gath, of 510 MRSMJ 01/02 last sat in KLCC. It was fun meeting all of them. But turns out, there's only 9 of us. There others have things in their way. But we talked and discussed and taking pictures. Lots of it. Much much also. The pictures will come soon.:).
and what else happening...
oh yeah, wait..I'm moving into new home. i like it. I dont know why, but i like it. Maybe the serenity. Will tell you more on that later.
And now, what is my plan for. Is to write a story of my love life that cause pain in me, so that i can move on. Its been 2 days since i'm working on that story and cant wait for it to be over. Spilling it, writing it, cause much pain in me. It feel hurt in the inside, but i have to spill it out. I have to let go and be free from the memory. When i reread the text messages and what ive written, it made me cried in the inside. Hope i can cried also on the outside. But hope i will not also. I have to let go, and i want to end the story ASAP.
Pray for me and senior year, here i comes.

love, me.

stresssss

okay, i am very stress now. When the working environment is not that great, than you feel you want to get out of there fast. I dont like today. First thing in the morning, my mood spoiled for what happen last night. Then, this morning, the last guy i want to worked with today, is in the same lab as me. I mean, c'mon. I thought he supposed to be in another lab. We not even talked, i mean, just exchanging some few words, and he still cold and i am to him too. Plus, a doctor, get ego-istic. Urgh, hate that. Wish i can get back to the old lab, the one with KA and S. But, its someone else's turn now.
Tomorrow is the last day, hopefully i cant survived. I missed my last case, because of my fault. I want to get back, i want to watched it. But my CAs incharged keep asking me when i do i want to get home, so i get tired with that question and i said now. BUt i want to watch PTMC. i mean, it is so rare, plus it is a high risk case. and i know also, this case will ends around 9++, nearly 10. dont think i want to stay there and just and be with that guy. Dont want him. Tomorrow, is the last day i will see him and hopefully the last one too.
Wish tomorrow will be better and i can relax. Wish, tomorrow is more great than today.

new..

been a few days before start posting one...and here goes. I at new hospital doing my practical..and i dont like it. I mean, all my other colleagues who went there. said all the staffs are very nice. But not to me and not when i'm there..so that place a no-no. And this maybe be a bit racist..
but, what i found..the malay race is the one, that hold back and information and does not like to share their knowledge with others. For them, a student is just student, you cannot do much, or whatever.
BUt, when i worked with the non-Malay, they are nice..helping you when you need hand, explaining all the procedures and and love to share their knowledge, after all..the knowledge we share will multiply by 10 folds when we shared it with others right?
and then, thats the fault of Malay people..most of them. The not even want to help their future generation and blame them much. Its not about entertainment, fulfill their soul with entertainment and joy and fun in life; its about the knowledge, that will be the next generation sole treasure. When can they understand. Most Malay people i know, have principal as such..they want the future generation to suffer just like they suffered. They forgot that the future generation need not to be suffered just like them, but pass down the lesson, so they will strive and be more successful than their ancestors, than now.
They are certain people who wants to learn, but the people around them, make it hard. There is no such thing like your boss, your advisor are the only right person. Malay people tends to be backwards because the so called "jgn melawan, jgn kurang ajar, hormat org tua'. That is why we became like this. We can be better, be succesfful, but those need to change. Maybe, just one person at a time can do it, follows by the other.
In other case, what Malays trademark also. They dont like to worked hard. They want fast and easy money and they dont like to worked hard. They are too hang up on the present government that for them, the best job is working in the government. I mean, yeah..the government been elected to served the people, but the Malays expect more. Help in all aspect but does not WANT to worked hard. Always complained and whined and....god i HATE that much.
Even in the holy Qur'an, and in fact in all religious sacred book. there are says..that no one will change unto others till they change themselves.
The Malays said there are the Muslims. But why they dont want to used the and let the sacred books be the guidance path.
All successful person, have a religious person and aspect in their life, no matter what religions.
They Malays should change a lot, if they want to be the best in life.
There is no point pleasing other people by using the phrase "hormat org lain", when Malay themselves being sold.

For Love or Money

iT COMES down to one thing in the end, the intention, the "niat"..the purpose..and all requires great thinking in life to handle..
just say what you need to say

Hardest Thing..

This morning, when i am driving to my practical hospital.this crossed my mind..
that, all of us..has mission, has something to look forward too, and decision to make..i am not talking about simple decision, but life changing decision..like..how to subsidies the fuel..(i know, i know..its the government that should think that), how to stop a relationship even if you know the feeling is not there and you could not see the future..but, making that decision, saying it out aloud..its like..hard. so hard. coz there are so many obstacles and created enough chaos, when you said it..til at that time, you dont want to make any decision and just hope for things to go on its own..
but its not going to..right..
nothing going too..
the longer its is on hold..the more problem will come and more decision need to be made..e
specially when all your moves need to be told and been watched like a hawk and there is no turning back from that.
sometimes, i wonder..will this ever change...will i ever get the chance to do what i wanted instead doing what other people wanted me to be..and to do.
till, then..
nway, today..my day was great..a patient hit on me..damn, thats was funny..but i dismissed him without "drop his water face"..heheh...nway, he must be married..he is 34 years old..for god sake...;)

August Rush

I feel it the moment i watched this movie. It is so touching, heart-reaching and magical. I feel how the mother feels for the lost of the son,(not like i have experienced it before:)), and i feel how he felt when he seek and searched for his parents for 11 years and ++ days.
I am loud when we watched it, luckily im at home and just my 4 younger sisters watching the movie with me..so they like, shut up, we want to smacked you and etc..coz i am loud and always asked them, wasnt it sad, ooh..this is sad..and omg..sedihnye....heheh...
but i feel more better if the director show the scene where mr evan taylor get to be introduced with his parents..i mean, the parents just there, in front of him..c'mon....
he is cute..damn cute..with the cute pair of dimple and the innocent face when he smile, grin and just be happy..man..and i am already having crushed on Jonathan Rhys Meyers..so not more on him..and the mommy..i forgot what is her name, but she bears the name of Lyla Novacek...she's a beauty...
so, people, that read my blog..watch August Rush and tell me what do you think k..
btw, i just happen to know someone, who has been an orphan in his life and i feel very sorry for him. He lost his confidence in life and very naive in living.
I know he is nice, but this time around..i have to know when to stop..and let the ship sail on its own....:)
till then, my assignment havent finished yet let alone im touching it..i just havent the feeling yet and whole lot of battle star gallactica episodes are waiting to be watched...
hmmmm..wonder which one comes first???.....